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July 12, 2006
it was late and we were lost in london.
it was late and we were lost in london. really lost. and it was time to go home.
after all gene and i had already been asked to leave one pub due to our overzealous local friends. then we went to another, had a fruit juice, discussed most influential hardcore bands (my list? nation of ulysses, deadguy, samiam, refused. yeah try to deny refused.) (his list? atreyu, bayside, aiden,boysetsfire, my body, my blood) (hahaha gene!) it was nice but we had a flight coming up quickly and gatwick was well far from london and international flights are annoying if done without proper rest.
it was definitely time to go home. we walked our dear friends ben, cammilla and emma to their hostel which i personally was nervous to go into due to the movie of the same name but was actually safe as houses (you like that?) gave them kisses goodnight and started back to the hotel.
then realized we had no idea where we were.
no idea. camden town or something? maybe we were in white chapel! time for a mini cab back because we actually had the address of where we were staying. (this is better than the one time in berlin where i had no idea where the bus was and had to be humiliated and ask someone “where did boysetsfire play tonight?” awful!)
so we found a minicab stand and gene quickly made the arrangements.
they asked if we minded if a small blonde shared the cab with us.
no we dont mind.
got in the cab and spoke to the driver, a large black man with a ready smile and a thick accent.
“Travel Lodge at Kings Cross please.”
the blonde who had seemingly passed out against the window stirred into action.
“you sound american”
“well, we are”
“all americans are assholes!”
keep in mind we were literally hip to hip in the back of a cab.
i was quiet. one quickly learns to keep their mouth shut especially in a dodgy situation like this. i didn’t fancy a stabbing in the back of a cab. an international flight with a astabwound would just well suck!
“you hear me? all americans are assholes!”
in my ear. loudly.
“well i understand how many people feel that way but i feel like i personally am trying to do something in order to right a situation i know america has caused...”
“so you are an asshole!””
“well thats not nice is it? i mean what do you have against americans?”
did i mention she is wasted...i mean dean martin wasted, slurring, weaving, loud to soft patterns of speaking. possibly cracked out as well.
“with your hey dude! hey! man! and your WASSUP bros and your hey dudes! all americans are assholes and that means you are too!””
“you know every american?”
“I dont have to asshole!”
“ok well you sound irish?”
“Damn right i am irish!”
“well some people say not very nice things about the irish....and thats wrong because stereotypes are hurtfull and not true...”
“what do they say!”
“I dont wanna say...”
“say it! SAY IT! SAY IT FATASS! SAY IT!”
“I won’t you cant make me drop to your level....i won’t say it...i won’t say it!”
“AMERICAN ASSHOLE!”
the taxi stopped at my hotel.
I got out, said thanks to the driver gave him some money then went in.
don’t have a point really. this happened.
notes from the plague: have some news regarding warped coming very soon...other dates will be added as well. thanks next time the story of the customs agent that got really mad at my laptop.
Posted by joshbsf at July 12, 2006 10:08 AM
Comments
when did we start calling beer fruit juice?
Posted by: Gene at July 12, 2006 11:00 AM
asshole.
Posted by: blond at July 12, 2006 12:32 PM
why do you hate me?....I will patiently be waiting for you outside the bathroom.
Posted by: a loney puppy. at July 12, 2006 01:32 PM
The majority of English people have to create a stereotype about every race on earth for their tiny minds to comprehend there being other races on earth.
I saw you on Saturday night in London, and I'm from Wales. I should know about English stereotypical attitudes, I've lived with it all my life!
You guys are amazing.
Kai.
x
Posted by: Anonymous at July 12, 2006 04:35 PM
"The majority of English people have to create a stereotype about every race on earth for their tiny minds to comprehend there being other races on earth."
The best thing about that statement is that it is in itself a stereotype.
Posted by: jason at July 12, 2006 05:17 PM
Yeah, british people can be narrow minded at times... last time I went there, though, they were actually nice.
And I didn't even had to use any accent(as I am from british/scottish ancestry), but I did however had to eat some fish and chips. They were terrible, but then again... it was the sauce's fault!
Posted by: Maynar at July 13, 2006 05:39 PM
POTATO FAMINE
Posted by: Dan Perrone at July 14, 2006 10:11 AM
hey hey, great tour!!!!
Posted by: Josie at July 16, 2006 07:43 PM
pretty off topic to your post, but are you guys gonna play in grand rapids michigan again anytime soon. you did about a year or two ago and it was great and i have since been waiting for your crew to come back. i enjoyed the last show and i anticipate the next. schedule a show here soon.
Posted by: Scott Charron at July 17, 2006 12:40 AM
Fish and Chips own.
Posted by: John at July 17, 2006 03:13 PM
asshole, what the fuck.
oh and i have a small dick so i'm gay or something, not that i mean that, oh yeh you know understand it ............
do you never fight i mean fighting is not good, but sometimes if nothing else works it can be good, don't you think.
so if you are back in london an you have the same cab driver and you said i'm american, an he said.......... the same als before, than hit that bastard.
and i shout do it, and i'm the good (and the ugly) ;)))
keep on going
Posted by: david at July 18, 2006 07:56 AM
wow did you not get the memo?
He said it was a FEMALE drunken passengar whom they were sharing the cab with. Not the driver.
On top of that he stated she was piss drunk. So fighting her would not have done any good except leave her with more bruises to wonder where they came from the next morning (I hate those)
Posted by: Anonymous at July 18, 2006 10:26 AM
hey, okie no offense but the futher south you go the more american assholes you run into. Which is why Canada Kicks ass
Posted by: brett at July 31, 2006 03:14 AM
I cant believe your retiring.....you have to be the best band i have listened to in 12 years....you rank up there with the dead kennedys....i am sorry to hear this sad news ...i wish you guys all the best in what ever you choose to do .....i look forward to your reunion tour.
Posted by: tim at August 2, 2006 10:41 AM
ionolsen33 Your site is very cognitive. I think you will have good future.:) www_4_1
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Posted by: preved at October 30, 2006 12:18 PM
Americans are assholes, so what's the big deal? It's not you are telling anyone anything new or something. The four most hated countries in the world: USA, England, Japan and Germany. They all earned their reps as well.
Posted by: Darius Jedburgh at December 25, 2006 10:08 AM
What is this all about? There is a war going on and America is the big bully again and all this piddle paddle about nothing! Get going and upset the American apple cart and bring on Marxism and burn the Capitalist pigs property down!
Posted by: Richard Neva at December 26, 2006 08:38 PM
Fuck UNCLE SAM!
Posted by: Ronald Almeida at September 15, 2007 10:42 AM
The problem is that vitrualy all Americans act so much like assholes on TV that it's hard to imagine that any of you aren't assholes. I mean, logicly I know it must be true, but it's so far removed from what I see of americans that it boggles the mind.
That, and your asshole-in-chief is also your president. I mean, even you have to agree that they guy is a complete asshole. Seriously, ever since President Moron came to power your country has gone from "Nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there" to "Fucking scary" on my personal scale of likability.
Posted by: Fuck Uncle Sam! at March 27, 2008 09:00 PM